craig james hildebrand, TERMS AND CONDITIONS
------------------------------------------------------------------


The writer chooses not to copyright his work, but openly threatens 
graphic physical violence to anyone that uses it for ill gain.


Ill gain may include any and all of the following:
	
	· Financial profit
	· Obstruction of justice
	· Disingenuous slander

The violence may occur in either of the following forms:

	· By surprise
	· With advanced notice

The writer may dole out said violence using any of the following:

	· Fists
	· Teeth
	· Feet
	· Elbows
	· Weapons including, but not limited to:
		- Baseball bats
		- Brass knuckles
		- Leather belts
		- Studded whips
		- Plastic bags
		- Scatter bombs
		- Poetic references

In order to ensure that the violence is strong and definite, 
the writer will get indestructibly drunk prior to its occurrence.  
The spirits that will haunt him may include one or more of the 
following:

	· Whiskey
	· Gin
	· Tequila
	· Beer
	· Various shades of grain alcohol

The writer will respond equally to men and women alike, but will 
extend the violence towards the parents of children as necessary.  
The maximum age for which the writer will attack a child's parent 
by proxy is:

	· 6

Any child above said age is eligible for violence.

Appropriate usage of the writer's material includes:

	· Free stage performances
	· Free public readings
	· Gift wrapping
	· Paper airplanes

Film and video consideration available upon request.

Paid screenings and/or stage events must involve a charitable 
or altruistic cause to be acknowledged and consented by the 
writer prior to its date.

Failure to adhere to these guidelines will result in violence.

------------------------------------------------------------------
The writer chooses not to copyright his work, but openly threatens 
graphic physical violence to anyone that uses it for ill gain.