craig james hildebrand, WE MUST DO WHAT IT TAKES FOR OUR LOVE
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Q: What three qualities do you think every man should have?
Q: You mean, in order to be a man of the world?
A: Yes.
A: I think every man should know how to drive a stick, roll a
cigarette, and juggle three oranges.
Q: What three qualities do you think every woman should have?
Q: You mean, as a woman?
A: Yes.
A: A woman should always know which questions to answer.
Q: Why do you write?
A: Because I say the wrong things.
Q: Why do you write?
A: Because we depend on each other.
Q: What is it about your wife which drives you mad?
A: I'm driven mad when she neglects to tell me she loves me.
Q: What is it about your husband which drives you mad?
A: I'm driven mad when he shakes the newspaper.
Q: Shakes the newspaper?
A: In the morning, during breakfast. He shakes the newspaper and
it wrinkles and folds.
Q: What do you do when you get mad at him?
A: I neglect to tell him I love him.
Q: Do you think your marriage is worth saving?
A: We're spending a good deal of money on this counseling.
A: I think anything's worth saving.
Q: Are you tired?
A: Yes, we're both very tired.
A: Yes, we're both very tired.
Q: When you kiss, do you still feel love?
A: We no longer kiss, it's impractical.
A: Kissing requires an exceptional amount of energy.
Q: Do you no longer generate energy between you?
A: We bought a microwave.
A: It has nine settings.
Q: How would you describe your social lives?
A: Diasporal.
A: Metronomic.
Q: Have you considered adoption?
A: Yes, but no one will take me.
Q: Was that a joke?
A: Yes.
Q: What's your idea of a perfect evening?
A: One which moves flawlessly from day into night.
Q: Pretend you're in the desert. There's a turtle lying on its back.
Do you flip it over, or leave it there?
Q: Who put the turtle on its back?
A: I did.
Q: Why?
A: In order to ask you this question.
Q: Where is the turtle?
A: In the desert.
A: Then we must find it.
Q: And?
A: Flip it over.
A: I'll pack sandwiches.
Q: What kind of sandwiches?
A: Cucumber sandwiches.
Q: Will they have crusts?
A: No, they will not have crusts.
Q: Are you willing to change for your spouse?
A: I will do what it takes for her love.
Q: Are you willing to change for your spouse?
A: We must do what it takes for our love.
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