craig james hildebrand, OVERHEARD CONVERSATIONS FROM OTHER
COUNTRIES THAT WERE UNDER ATTACK
IN THE FILM "INDEPENDENCE DAY"
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Uzbekistan:
“I can't believe this is happening. Quick, honey, get my shotgun.
September 1st is only a couple months away and I have a suspicious
feeling they're holding out for something...”
Peru:
“I can't believe this is happening. The explosion of this giant
UFO will coincide beautifully with our fireworks in 14 days. It
will be as though it were all preconceived in a transparently
patriotic story.”
Cambodia:
“I can't believe this is happening. Alright gang, we have
exactly four months and five days to destroy these aliens.
If we fail, then we'll get blown to bits!”
“Blown to bits?”
“That's right. Blown to bits.”
“Man, I don't want to get blown to bits.”
“I'd let HER blow me to bits!”
“Har! Har! Har!”
“Now now, everyone settle down.”
“You can't talk to me like that!”
“Listen honey, this is an epidemic.”
“Epidemic my ass, you can't talk to me like that!”
“Guys, we---”
“What? Let her talk!”
“There are ALIENS!”
“I can't believe this.”
“They won't attack for another four months! Let's work this out!”
“There are more important things---”
“If we're going to get blown to bits then I want to die in a country
that's civilized enough to treat its women as individuals and not as
some sort of sex object!”
“Guys, this is not at all specific to Cambodia.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I don't know, I just thought someone should say that.”
“Look, I'm sorry for what I said.”
“Who said that?”
“I did.”
“Who are you?”
“I'm the guy that said the thing about her blowing me to bits.”
“Oh, you.”
“Yeah, I'm sorry I said that.”
“It's okay.”
“So what are we going to do about these aliens?”
“Let's let America take care of it.”
“How come?”
"It's their movie."
"True."
"But American cinema is crap!"
"It's gone down the shitter!"
"Yeah, and they're taking us with them!"
"They can't just stick us in their movie."
"I didn't sign anything."
"Me neither. Did you?"
"Who?"
"Anyone."
"Nope."
"Huh."
"Let's get a lawyer."
"What about these aliens?"
"There are no aliens."
"Yeah, it's only a movie."
"Oh."
"I'm confused."
"We can't do anything because nothing's really happening."
"Okay. So what should we do?"
"Nothing."
"Then what about the aliens?"
"There are no aliens."
"But they're right there."
"No they aren't."
"Yes they are."
"No they aren't."
"That's CGI, it's obvious."
"It does look fake."
"American cinema is crap."
"It's just a big industry!"
"They only want money!"
"This is not art."
"You can't say that."
"Sure I can."
"If this isn't art, then what is?"
"Do we really need to have this conversation right now?"
"Guys, this is getting out of hand."
"No, I want to know. If this isn't art then what is?"
"Hey man, we're just talking."
"You can't just talk shit and not stand up for it."
"Yeah, Mr. 'American Cinema is Shit?' What's art?"
"It's anything intended to better the human race."
"What about monkeys? Can't monkeys make art?"
"They can make monkey art."
"This is getting ridiculous."
"How did this even come up?"
"I don't know, some asshole."
"Hey don't call me an asshole."
"Asshole!"
"That's it."
"Guys, break it up!"
"He called me an asshole!"
"I can't believe this is happening."
"Hey, it wasn't my idea."
"Mine neither."
"Let's go home."
"Yeah, screw this."
"American cinema is crap."
"I hope they cut us out."
"Yeah man."
"Then we can all just disa
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