craig james hildebrand, DISTRICT 9
------------------------------------------------------------------
INT. EMPLOYMENT OFFICE, DAY
DORIS is sitting behind her desk, shuffling through various
employment papers. She is endlessly old.
Aross from her sits ALIEN, who is wearing a dress shirt,
slacks, and tie. He's nervous. He forgot to do whatever
it is that ALIENS are supposed to do before a job interview.
He forgot to clip his face wings or something.
DORIS
So you are an...
ALIEN
Alien.
DORIS
Mm hmm. And what are your skills?
ALIEN
I can--
BOOM! A huge explosion happens just outside the window.
ALIEN turns around to see what happened.
DORIS
Eyes up here.
ALIEN
I think something...
DORIS
Mr. Alien, we have a lot of
paperwork to get through, so if you
could please remain focused.
ALIEN
I'm sorry.
DORIS
Now it says here that you've been
stationed to work on the &th
quadrant of Prlx4a.
ALIEN nods.
DORIS (CONT'D)
What is that?
ALIEN
It's sort of a hive community.
We gather and spawn to help other,
less active areas reach their
quotas.
DORIS
Mm hmm.
(beat)
So you guys are just really big
bugs.
ALIEN
Yes.
DORIS
Mm hmm. Are you familiar with our
Bug Outreach Program, or BOP?
ALIEN
Well, I--
BZIUUuumm...
The hologram of DORIS flickers out, then the rest of the
office.
ALIEN is left sitting in the center of a large, tesselated
dome. The tiles are shaped like birds and bees and angels.
They flicker, intermittently.
BIGGER ALIEN comes out.
BIGGER ALIEN
Glub. Glib glub glob.
ALIEN nods.
BIGGER ALIEN (CONT'D)
(angrier)
GLUB!
ALIEN
(dejected)
Glob.
BIGGER ALIEN
Gloob.
...mmuuUUIZB--
The tesselated dome turns back into an office.
DORIS is shuffling through papers.
DORIS
So you are an...
ALIEN
Person.
DORIS
Mm hmm. And what are your skills?
ALIEN
I can--
BOOM! A huge explosion happens just outside the window.
ALIEN leaps over the desk and EATS DORIS' HEAD.
It sputters and cracks into electric liquid.
BZIUUuumm...
Black, gray, and brown BALLOONS tumble down from the ceiling.
A BEAUTIFUL ALIEN comes running in.
She jumps on ALIEN's lap.
BEAUTIFUL ALIEN
Glub! Gloo gliddit!
BIGGER ALIEN
Glood gloing, Glub.
ALIEN
Glanks, gluys.
ALIEN BEST FRIEND comes in.
ALIEN BEST FRIEND
Glowaboutta glold-one, gluys?
ALIEN
Gloo gloddit.
BIGGER ALIEN
Glon glee!
They all erupt in laughter.
ALIEN wipes a tear from his eye.
ALIEN
Gle're glalmost gluman.
FIN
|